Ninja Jigglypuff and Other Stupid Stories
by Sailor OmegaWhite Valkerie
Summary: What is this? A ninja Jigglypuff? Roy high on sugar? Mewtwo as Scrooge? All the insanity of life is gone in this fic as the Smashers do the impossible in doing nothing but parodies! Warning Excessive randomness!
1. Enter the Ninja Jigglypuff! Part One

_Hello you all and welcome to this wacky story a friend and I are making and I am Jun a.k.a. Sailor Omega/White Valkerie._

_Hello, this is Mewlon, one of SSBM's writers. I came here now as a co-writer for my friend: Jun. The fic is her's but I'm here to help her only with parts of the plot. I hope you enjoy this story as much as we loved to make it! Bye!_

_Disclaimer: We don't own anything in SSBM but the plot_

**The Adventures of Ninja Jigglypuff and other stupid stories**

**Episode 1: Enter the Jigglypuff! Hyah!**

Flush! Went the sound of the toilet in the bathroom stalls of the men's hallway. Two dark figures came out of it: smiling wickedly at their victim. One was a dark skinned man with fiery hair while the other was a giant turtle with huge evil teeth. Bowser gave their latest victim a kick on their side just to see how it would react.

"We got him!" Spoke Bowser with a sense of glee in his voice. "Mark him down for the count."

"All right!" Replied Ganondorf as he scratched the name Luigi off of their list of 'Who to give a swirley to' list. "Let's see who's next. Ahh, Jigglypuff. We need to do her."

"Perfect….ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Hey you in there!" Shouted the janitor as he looked inside of the bathroom. "If you're gonna use the bathroom, make sure to flush not so many times. But then again, you guys probably make the hugest shits ever!"

"Shut the hell up, Jani!" Barked the two villains as they turned off the lights of the bathroom and walked outside.

The red sun rose in the morning. Everyone in the Smash Stadium had awoken from their previous night. One in particular was a pink balloon called Jigglypuff. She had opened one cute emerald green eye to the light then the other. She slowly got out of her pink colored sheets from her pink colored bed. Rubbing her head, she remembered what happened to her the previous night.

**Previous Night**

'I'm off to get a glass of milk,' thought the pink balloon as she walked towards the kitchen. The quiet hallway was almost eerie enough even send chills to the bravest of all Smashers. Soon, she reached the kitchen all by herself and walked in. A small light had distracted her and curiosity got the best of her. Opening the door a bit, Jigglypuff peeked in.

Giving a small gasp, her eyes did not deceive her from what was taking place. Ganondorf and Bowser were in the kitchen, by the refrigerator, holding on to Young Link. The small elf apparently wanted some milk himself that night and his bottle of Lon Lon Milk was empty. Which wasn't a shocker at all.

"Give me all your rupees kid, and we'll let you get milk without getting hurt," said the giant Koopa.

"No! Never! I'll never give you my money!" Shouted Young Link as he spit at him.

"Why you little shi…"

"Stop, Bowser!" Called Ganondorf. "Fine, don't give us money. What you can do is get your Big You's Ocarina of Time and the Triforce of Courage. Then I'll let you go."

"….if I'm not giving you money, what makes you think I'll give you that stuff, ugly old butt hole fart!" Shouted Young Link as he struggled his way through.

"…! Ugly…old…..fart!" Barked the old Gerudo King.

"Uh, he said 'ugly old butt hole fart…'" correct Bowser.

"I KNOW what he said! Let's give him a swirley for that!"

It was at that moment that a tiny spec of dust fell from the ceiling and tickled Jigglypuff's nose. Within the nostrils came a scratch that was hard to ignore for the tiny puffball. Inhaling air, the pink puffball tried her best to stop the sneeze, but it was too much for her. And out came a rather huge sneeze.

The power of that sneeze opened the kitchen door all the way open. Ganondorf and Bowser were left stunned by the power. Young Link took the time to wriggled out of their grasps and run for it. Both bullies were rather angry and annoyed from their loss. But soon, both of them took a good look at Jigglypuff and smiled wickedly at her. Using their speed, if they had any, they made a grab for her and held her tight.

"Well, well…" said Bowser with a sadistic tone in his voice. "Looks like Pigglysnuff decided to be a hero. What shall we do with this hero?"

"Hmm, I don't know…" replied Ganondorf with a hint of evil in it. "How about we give her the special treatment?"

"You mean…"

"YES! A swirley!"

'HUH?' Questioned the Jigglypuff when she heard them talking about a swirley. Both bullies took her to the male bathroom stall. There they held her tight and dunk her head into the toilet water. Soon the flushing began. The horror of it all. Jigglypuff tried to scream, but it was no avail.

**Present Time**

Jigglypuff was just walking trying to avoid two bullies: Bowser and Ganondork! She looked around and saw that Peach and Mario were just enjoying a good game of tennis, the twins, Nana and Popo, and Ness were playing hide and seek and that the rest of the Smashers were probably resting.

Then she saw him! Marth! She has always liked him since the first time he came to the stadium with his dark blue hair, his blue eyes, his princely outfit and strong body made her swoon the first time she saw him. She watched him as he walked down the steps with his buddy Roy a red head who had the advantage of being quicker than him but he had the advantage of being strong on the offensive side.

'Oh it's him! It's him! Please look this way, please look this way,' she wished in her head and heard this.

"Hello sweetie!" She turned and saw who she was avoiding from the beginning, Bowser and Ganondork... um... er Ganondorf.

"Missed us, Pigglysnuff," snickered Ganondorf and before Jigglypuff could do anything Bowser grabbed her by the ears and took her to the bathroom into the bathroom stall.

'Oh no! Not this again!' Though Jigglypuff as she struggled to break free from their grasps.

"Since when was the last time we gave Pigglysnuff here the special here?" Asked Ganondorf knowing full well the answer.

"Five hours, thirty minutes, fifteen seconds and..." Replied the Koopa King as he looked at his watch.

Flush! Jigglypuff was in the toilet facing the abominable swirley.

"...ten nanoseconds" he continued.

"You really have nothing to do with your spare time don't ya?" Asked Ganondorf sweat dropping as Bowser nodded his head several times.

Meanwhile Jigglypuff was still facing the swirley trying to hold her breath so she wouldn't have to swallow the water, thrashing her arms so she could get out of the toilet and pleading in her head for this to torment to stop.

'Please someone help me! Someone get me out of here! Stop this torture! No more swirley please, please no more! Marth help!' Cried the pink Pokemon inside of her head. Then suddenly as if by miracle the door opened and in came in Link, Roy, and Marth!

"What is happening here?" Asked Roy. Both Bowser and Ganondorf ceased their criminal activities and turned hiding the poor creature behind them.

"Us? Were doing nothing right Bowser," responded Ganondorf while Bowser nodded.

Jigglypuff couldn't say anything though considering that she was still knocked out having to have five swirlies. Marth and the other two did not believe them so they looked at each other and nodded. In a matter of five seconds Bowser was knocked out by Roy and Marth and Ganondorf was beaten into the pulp by Link. When it looked like they wouldn't wake up for a while, they got up and saw Jigglypuff in the toilet knocked out.

**Outside**

Jigglypuff came back into focus and saw Link and Roy smiling at her.

"Hey Jigglypuff are you all right?" Asked Roy. Jigglypuff nodded and saw Marth talking to Zelda and Peach. Immediately she became sad.

'Damn it! Why do the other girls get his attention?' Thought Jigglypuff sadly as Marth walked over to her .

"Hey Jigglypuff can you explain to us what happened?" He asked and she nodded.

"Jiggly! Jiggly! Jigglypuff!" Piped the balloon creature as she waved her hands in the air, motioning what had happened.

"Um Jigglypuff, we don't understand what you're saying," responded Link while he and the group sweat dropped. Jigglypuff got even more depressed on that.

'Oh yeah I forgot I don't speak human, Damn it!' Jigglypuff scowled at herself. Quickly Mewtwo was brought and he told him what happened.

"So you were forced to have a swirley this morning as well," gasped Zelda.

"Jigglypuff," she responded while nodding. Zelda and Peach then turned to where Bowser and Ganondorf was at and marched straight at them.

"GANONDORF! BOWSER!" Hearing their names screeched like that both of them ran and hid to where the princess's would not find them.

"Zelda! Peach! Hey wait!" Cried out Marth and the others ran after Zelda and Peach leaving Jigglypuff alone.

"Jiggly!" 'No fair! I get bugged by Ganondorf and Bowser, can't speak human speech like Mewtwo and Marth doesn't even notice me, well he does but not like the way I want!' She thought sadly and quickly went under a tree.

"Ah I see you're in a dilemma," cried out a voice. Jigglypuff looked around.

"Jiggly?" Let out the Pokemon.

"Up here pink child!" Cried out once the more the voice and Jigglypuff looked up to see an old man in a black ninja like suit with a red headband. Sitting on a branch that was sixteen feet high, the ninja jumped down and landed perfectly without hurting himself and crouched down so he could get a good look at Jigglypuff.

"So I see that you have some bullies here huh?" He spoke to her.

"Jiggly!" She said nodding.

"Well I got this gift for you young lady so you won't be defenseless and be strong," he said and gave her a green headband. Jigglypuff looked at it with such happiness.

She thought, 'Yes, something that won't leave me defenseless and make me strong!'

"Now I have to get moving but promise me this that you'll use this item not only to defend yourself, but others who need you're help," he said. Jigglypuff nodded enthusiastically so much she did not notice the ninja leave.

'GREAT! Now I have something that'll protect me from those oversized, pea brain, ego-maniac bullies.' As she thought this she did one of her special attacks the rollout and she went all over the place passing Ness, Nana, Popo, and Young Link, scaring Fox and Falco thinking it was some sort of assassination attempt until they saw the pink blur recognizing it instantly as Jigglypuff and everyone else did as well.  
"What's gotten into Jigglypuff?" Asked Link. As they watch the pink blur pass by them.

"I don't know," responded Roy. "But whatever it is it's probably something that made her happy."

Finally Jigglypuff stopped and rested to look at her prized possession, next to Marth's autographed picture of course and other cute guys pictures. Thinking about it made her get out her wallet and look at them of course. But she then put it away and looked at the green headband and analyzed it.

'Hey maybe it's a whip!' Piped the pink puffball. She then tried using it as a whip but it failed to show how it could help her. She sat down and began to think what it could be then.

'Or maybe it's a... a... or what the heck am I thinking it's nothing but a headband,' she thought as she plopped down to the ground sad at believing the old man's words. She then began to remember him so that the next time she saw him she could then beat him up. She remembered his black ninja outfit, his old wrinkled face and a red headband-

'...around his forehead! Of course! So all I have to do is put it around my forehead!' She then did that and looked around.

'Now... how to test this?' She thought and looked at a big, black, strong, solid rectangular marble that was five feet higher than Jigglypuff and a width that was three feet. As she looked at it Captain Falcon was standing one hill away under a oak tree drinking beer away from the stadium.

He was on his sixth drink when he noticed Jigglypuff, with a green headband around her forehead, looked as she was about to punch the black marble which not even the strongest of Smasher could crack. Well maybe the Hands but it was only a teeny tiny crack. He decided to watch and saw her impact her hand and the black sleek marble and got the surprise of his life!

**Back to Jigglypuff**

Jigglypuff looked at the marble carefully. 'I know that I would never be able to break this...' She thought.'...but with this baby on, I might make an exception.' She closed her eyes and gathered her energy into her tiny paw/fist. With one powerful swoop, the pink puffball smash the rubble into nothing but tiny pieces.

Looking pleased with herself, Jigglypuff left the scene and off to find some certain someone's. Meanwhile, Captain Falcon had his jaw wide open. He looked at his beer and threw it away.

"I'm never going to drink this again." He muttered as he fell on the ground in a dead faint.

Jigglypuff walked around the stadium looking for her main objective. She soon stopped to see both those bullies, Bowser and Ganondorf, picking on Young Link and Ness. Both wanted their lunch money. 'Not if I can help it!' She thought as she approached the two evil men. The rosy Pokemon gave a slight cough to get the attention of the crooks.

"Give us your lunch money." Bowser demanded as he gave a snarl and shown his long, sharp teeth.

"Never! You gisudyr hydikidu sofk!" Shouted the young blonde elf.

"What did he say?"

"He said..." The Gerudo King had began."...you stupid, fat, pompous, turtle turd."

"Why that little..."

"Ahem" Let out Jigglypuff as she placed her hands on her waist :if she has one.

"Huh? Oh, why it's Pigglysnuff coming to make our day again." Bowser had mocked.

"Ha ha ha ha!" Laughed Ganondorf. "What's the matter, Pigglysnuff? Giving up and surrendering to us? Making our swirlies easier?"

"Think again, Ganondork and Buttser!" Yelled Jigglypuff as she puts up her fist in a fighting stance.

"Huh?" They both said in unison. "Did...you...just...hear...that...?"

"Holy Cheri Berries! This thing must have enhanced me to talk human. Well, at least now, no worries about Mar...I mean, you guys!"

"Wha?"

"Jigglypuff Pound Attack!"

A powerful aurora had surrounded Jigglypuff, causing the sky to darken and a blue light emit from her. Electric currents had appeared into her tiny paws/fists. 'Eat your heart out, Pikachu.' Thought the pink balloon Pokemon as she punched both kings and sent them flying into the skies and turn them into stars. Ness and Young Link couldn't believe it.

"Wow!" Shouted the blonde elf as he ran towards the pink Pokemon and hugged her. "That was so cool!"

"Really?" She asked with her sparkling emerald colored eyes.

"Yes! That was amazing." Ness had added as he gave her a thumbs up.

'All right!' Shouted the inner Jigglypuff. 'Way to go and kick some a...butt! Heh heh heh! I have taught those two a lesson, but...it would have been better if I gave them a swirley...who cares! As long as I can fight like this and talk, I will become the Smash Champion...and win the love of Marth-kun, the cutest man to ever grace this planet's features.'

"What's wrong with Jigglypuff?" Asked the Hylian as he walked away with Ness.

"She must be conserving all her energy for the next fight scene." Replied the raven haired boy. "Just look at that rage! It's making her all red!"

Suddenly out of nowhere, Marth, Link, and Roy were all gathering together in the common room where a big TV. had been placed. All three men where lazing on the couch and comfort chairs as they watch an action movie. Roy left in the middle of it to go to the bathroom and Link was hungry, so he left to make some popcorn, leaving Marth all alone with the hidden puffball.

'Oh my God!' She thought ecstatically. 'Marth is all alone...with me! And now, since with this headband, I can speak human! Finally, I will be able to confess my feelings for him.'

**Daydream**

The area was sunny with many cute pink and yellow flowers. Link and Sheik are in the background playing the ocarina and harp. Jigglypuff walks up the a figure in the middle of the field. The pink puffball was wearing a lovely red flower in her hair/fur along with a pretty red dress.

"Marth?" She had asked with a sparkle in her emerald eyes.

"Ah, Jigglypuff. How are you doing, milady?" Asked Marth who was wearing a shiny white suit with blue and silver linings and silver armor.

"I have baked some cookies and came to tell you my eternal love for you."

"Cookies...and your love? Oh, Jigglypuff, you are the best."

At that moment, a figure in the back was slowly coming down, but had gotten stuck in the air. The rope supporting the boy was stuck half-way. It was Roy and he was wearing nothing but a white kilt and with angel wings. He started to mumble cuss words in Japanese as he pulled on the rope. With one last tug, he fell on the ground. Wiping the dust away from him, he took out a bow and a heart shape arrow.

"I need a better job." The red-head spoke as he let go of the arrow and hit the Altean prince in the butt.

Upon the impact, a glowing bubble had surrounded Marth's head with many cute lights around him. "My, I never noticed how perfectly pink and round you are." He spoke.

"Marth..." Let out Jigglypuff as she closed her emerald eyes.

"...FIRE!" Came a loud voice from behind her.

"Huh?" That sound had awaken her from the daydream.

"FIRE! Help, my tunic's burning!" Shouted Link as he jumped up to the sink and trying to get away from the microwave.

"Link!" Yelled out Marth as he arrived to help the elf.

Upon the prince's dash towards the kitchen, he knocked over Jigglypuff causing the headband to fall off. When she had regain conscious, the pink Pokemon made it to the kitchen, which by that time, had the fire extinguished. Peach and Zelda came to comfort Link and scold at him at the same time.

Roy got the popcorn, which by a miracle were still good intact, and went to the couch. Marth then was standing there a bit distant from the girls.

'Now's my chance!' Thought Jigglypuff. "Ahem! Marth...I love you! Please don't reject me. I have loved you ever since I've met you, and I wanted to say this..."

"See what you did!" Marth barked at Link. "You got her in a panic!"

"Me! She was staring at you when she started to blab!" Link had growled.

"You want to say that to my face again!"

"You..."

Both of the swordsmen had glared at each other, creating an imaginary fire around them. Link was still on the counter, squatting over with his sapphire eyes at the cyan prince. Marth icy glare had locked onto Link's blueberries. Roy had finished the popcorn and wanted some more.

"Hey you guys!" He shouted as he walked to the counter where Link was squatting. "Where's the popcorn bags?"

With a slight push, Roy had managed to push the elf over. The red-head youth looked to see a shocking vision. Link's lips were now over Marth's. Both looked disgusted and had pushed away from each other. Peach and Zelda had a giggling fit as Jigglypuff's eyes went wide.

'That was uncalled for!' She thought as she felt her head. 'Oh, my headband is gone! Here it is! Okay, now to talk to ...where's Marth? He's gone! NO!'

_Yosh! We're done for today on this chapter! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as we had fun with it! This is Mewlon, signing out! See ya next time!_

_… She signed out before me ah well I guess I should be saying this. Please Review! This is Jun signing out before I am hit with a mysterious goop. LOL_


	2. More Jiggly Problems

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Hey we are back and with a new chapter of Ninja Jigglypuff. Sorry that it took forever for it actually be done but we've had a lot of complications lately. Jun's computer has busted and I had to finish off school.

Anyway let's say thank you to the reviewers.

From: math-nerds-unite, thanks for your review and for being the first one there.

From: Ri2, yeah poor Jigglypuff. Anyway the next chapter will contain more Jigglypuffness…

From: Something, no, it is not a yaoi fic. We only make fun of the concept.

From: Tala's Brooklyn's princess, yes, I knew you would like that part.

From: tikitikirevenge, I totally agree with you about the credit cards.

From: Mad Fearow, your wait is over.

From: Animal, thanks for liking the cupid thing. You better read the next chapter shakes fist at Animal

From: Jocot Tivan Llep of Ibu, what were we on? Well….let's see it was sugar, orange juice, candy, hot chocolate, three gallons of soda, and high on SSBM.

From: Xiao-Dark Cloud, hee hee, glad that you like the fic!

From: Supper Sailor Darkness, thanks for the candy!

On with the fic.

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Ninja Jigglypuff

Chapter Two: More Jiggly problems

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The next morning…

The next morning Jigglypuff woke up to the sounds of beeping game and watches which was her alarm clock. _God I hate that watch! _Thought Jigglypuff as she slowly rolled out of bed and onto the floor. Slowly, she took small steps towards her private bathroom and splashed water upon her face. The cool refreshing liquid had managed to keep her awake for the time being.

Looking into the mirror, Jigglypuff stood in horror at her looks. _Eh gad! _Thought the pink puff ball as she placed a small paw upon her hand. _I can't go around looking like this. What will Marth say if he saw me like this? _Taking out a small comb, the pink puff ball brushed hair swirl hair back to normal. Quickly, she took her green headband and don it upon her forehead.

Jigglypuff smiled to herself as she thought that she looked cute that morning. _My my, _thought the pink ball as she smiled, _I sure do look cute today! Maybe finally I will make Marth mine and he will be able to love me back! _As Jigglypuff kept trying to find many ways to make Marth her's, she had a day dream once again.

__

Enter Jigglypuff's dream sequence…

Jigglypuff walked through a rather enormous white castle filled with many portraits of cakes upon the walls. A gentle smell had caught her nose and lifted her from the ground and towards where it ended up. There in the middle of a pink room stood a rather large pink strawberry cake with little decorative flowers. And to the side of it stood Marth wearing a button white shirt and blue jeans.

"Hello there, my love," he spoke with his soft harmonic tone. "I've been waiting for you."

"Oh, my prince!" Squealed Jigglypuff as she floated towards her love.

"This cake is all yours."

"Don't mind if I do," came a voice from behind Jigglypuff.

Jigglypuff turned around to see who had stood behind her. It was none other then Link wearing the same thing as Marth. He smirked down at Jigglypuff then walked towards Marth while swing his hips towards him. Out of nowhere a table appeared and Link jumped on it while yelling at the prince. Soon he fell over once again smacking his lips against Marth's.

"Gah!" Shouted Jigglypuff as she rushed around the room.

End Jigglypuff's dream sequence…

"No, no, no, no, no!" Let out the pink puffball as she started to run around the bathroom like a maniac. "Link can't be Marth's true love! I know my prince doesn't swing that way! It's Link! He's corrupting him! If that Santa's rejected elf thinks he can take away my Marth, he's dead wrong! I'll fight him to win him back!"

Jigglypuff jumped back onto the sink and started to let out some punches. She was rather furious at what had happened yesterday and wanted to do something about it. After much shadow boxing, the pink puff ball's stomach growled. _Now I need food! _Thought Jigglypuff as she smiled and walked out of her room.

As she slowly walked through the hallways of the glamorous SSBM home, she noticed that kid Smashers awake and playing. Nana and Popo had started to throw sticks at Ness and Young Link while playing a game of "Eskimos." Soon she had arrived at the kitchen where Captain Falcon, helping himself to anything in the fridge.

"Hey Jigglypuff do you want something this morning?" He asks jokingly knowing that Jigglypuff can't speak human speech. As he spoke, pieces of food flew out of his mouth.

"Yes as a matter of fact I would like some orange juice!" said Jigglypuff with a smirk on her face.

Before she said anything the F-Zero racer started to laugh his head off. But soon Captain Falcon's laughter had stopped completely as he heard Jigglypuff's voice. Slowly turning around he looked down at the puff ball. His jaw was left wide open as he tried to maintain his composer at that moment. Slowly he got the nerve to even say anything.

"What did you say?" He asked with a rather shaky voice.

"I said I wanted to have orange juice!" Shouted Jigglypuff as she puffed up a bit.

BAM! Jigglypuff peers over the table to see Captain Falcon fainted on the floor. Her little self was left with rather a lot of confusion about what just happened. But soon her confused face turned into a face of malevolence. Taking out her microphone, she unscrewed the cap to reveal a marker. She jumped down on the captain's gut and bounced on it before she went to his face and drew a circle, a mustache, a cigarette, and a star.

All the meanwhile, somewhere far, far, far, from the kitchen and outside of the stadium itself, the two maniacal and rather ugly beings known as Bowser and Ganondorf were concocting their latest plan yet. Hiding in their secret base, which so happened to be trashcans, the two evil doers hid, grinning to each other on what to do with our heroine.

"So what we must do is somehow get Pigglysnuff's power and use it for ourselves to torment the good civilians of Smash Stadium! He, he, he!" Explained Ganondorf of his so called wonderful plan.

"Um... right! 5 minutes and 10 seconds..." replied Bowser a bit preoccupied with the watch.

"But how, though? How can we attain that fat thing's power?" Said Ganondorf as he rubbed his chin with his black painted nails. "I believe it has to do with that get up of the headband she wears... but how can I be so sure... What do you think Bowser? Um, Bowser?"

"5 minutes, 16 seconds and 59 nanosecond...-"

"BOWSER HAVE YOU NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ME! WHAT HAVE YOU'VE BEEN DOING THIS PAST TIME SINCE I WAS SPEAKING! HUH!" Ordered Ganondorf as he felt himself boil over.

"Well so far I have been counting the seconds to Pigglysnuff's last swirley and we are now nearing to about almost twenty hours Ganon-"

"THEN AM I THE ONLY ONE WITH THE BRAINS IN THE GROUP!" Screamed Ganondork.

As Ganondorf went on yelling about how he was the only one with a brain, Bowser just scratched his head for all his -2 IQ brain could muster and raised his head to Ganon. He of course could only think about counting the time with everyone's swirlies, or at least the ones they could do. The giant turtle type creature thought about the time he was able to do a swirley to Luigi then chuckled to himself.

"Aren't you paying any attention at all to what I'm saying!" Shouted the Gerudo King as he glared down at the Koopa King.

"Well yes." Lied Bowser, so he wouldn't have to hear anymore stuff from his companion.

"My job is the count the last swirley anybody has had while yours is to steal Pigglysnuff's headband while she is saving someone else," explained calmly the freak of nature that somehow mother earth decided to deform this creature so he can be beaten into a pulp by someone one third of his size.

Ganondorf began to pull out his hair. Then out of frustration for his freak of nature tortoise quickly grabs the fake Soul Edge that he bought online on this site that will remain nameless as to not promote commercialism. A small tag appeared at the bottom of the handle of the blade which had read fifty cents on it along with the words "made in China" was showing.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Laughed the Gerudo King as he swung his blade at Princess Zelda. "Now with Soul Edge in my hand, nothing will stop me from ruling your kingdom! You must be scared, aren't you, little blondie?"

"….what the…?" Let out the Hylian Princess as she looked at Ganondorf.

The red head Gerudo swung his blade around to try to scare the princess. Zelda, on the other hand, was not amused at all with what she was seeing and tried to ignore him. It wasn't until he knocked over a vase of flowers, which she had put there earlier, that got the princess frustrated. She glared down at Ganondorf with blood shot ruby eyes and was about to beat him up like the poor prisoners of Singapore with the Kendo stick.

A while later, Ganondorf returned with a rather beaten up look in his face. His anger rose to a higher level. _Why didn't I do this before? _Thought Ganondorf as he rushed over to Bowser and raised his fake Soul Edge over to him. Just when he was about to give Bowser the same treatment as he was given by Zelda, he just remembered something his slow friend had said to him.

"What... did you say?" Asked Ganon as he slowly placed his sword down.

"I said my job is to count swir-" Spoke Bowser but was interrupted.

"No, no no the one after that!"

"Oh! That your job is to steal jigglysnuffs headband when she is saving somebody-"

"YES!" Exclaims Ganondork as he clapped his hands and rubbed them together with a devious look in his eyes. "That is an excellent plan! I should have thought of it! Maybe you are not a lost cause when it comes to making plans Bowser! I mean your plans are just go to Peach's castle and kidnapper just to get Mario to screw up your plans."

"Um…well what about you? You always kidnap Zelda."

"Yes, but I don't go to her castle. Remember in Wind Waker I just wait until she shows herself in my fortress. See I'm so good that the girls come crawling to me."

"Oh…okay…"

"Anyway you just messed up my cue to start laughing evilly that it sends chills down little kids spines. It's my victory laugh! Ha, ha, ha, ha!"

Ganondorf pulled his head back and started to laugh evilly with all of his breath in his body. He lifted his hands up and made them into a claw like stance while his eyes went wide and crazy that it even spooked Bowser a bit that he had to step back. Suddenly Ganondorf started to cough and hack. He threw up a giant hairball then after he did so, a fart escape his buttocks.

Somewhere else where on top of the crisp green leaves of the high trees there upon the branches sat Jigglypuff. Her pinkness stood upon there with a giant tub of ice cream sitting in between of her legs. Taking out a giant spoon, she began to take a scoop of cherry pie flavored ice cream and stuffed it into her mouth.

"sigh I wonder where Marth-kun is at... I sure wish to see him and tell him of my feelings." Spoke Jigglypuff as she swallowed that wad of ice cream in her mouth. She then went on to a nice little daydream.

__

Daydream

It was a beautiful palace decorated with many wonderful items such as flowers, curtains and incense. It was the same as before but this time now cake and definitely no Link either. The young blue haired prince walked to the balcony where there awaited the beautiful princess of the castle... the beautiful... pink floating balloon?

"Huh?" asked a perplexed Marth.

"Oh my dear prince! How happy I am to see you!" Replied Jigglypuff as she turned showing her smile. Marth let out a smile as well. He held out a bouquet of flowers in his hands which he accidentally had dropped when he saw Jigglypuff. Slowly he turned his head over to where two girls were sitting by a computer and writing. Marth slowly walked towards them and gave them a somewhat maniacal smile upon his face.

"Did I do something wrong against you two to get this?" He asked honestly as he kept that fake smile on them.

End of Daydream

Jigglypuff sighs at this. _Marth looked so good with that smile of his. I just wished he would take those lovely arms of his and wrap them around me. Now I feel way better! Thanks to the power of ice cream! I shall now show my appreciation by singing one of my greatest hits. I hope you will all enjoy it! Hee, hee._

"Oh I am so-" However knowing what can happen when Jigglypuff sings the authoresses would rather have the reviewers and readers awake so as to read the rest of the story. In other words we muted the pink puffy balloon. At this moment Jigglypuff glares at the one who is writing this: Omega. Then glared down at Mewlon for making Link and Marth kiss.

"I will get you for this, you yaoi loving pervert!" Shouted Jigglypuff while shaking a tiny fist. "And you too, Censor Man!"

"I'm just here doing my job!" Spoke a round black thing with a cape that had the words "Censor Man" on them. "I'm here to censor all that is consider to be vulgar and inappropriate for the audience to hear."

"My singing is vulgar and inappropriate!"

All the meanwhile below Jigglypuff Link was talking to Princess Zelda. The Hero of Time was rather frustrated with yesterday's event that he couldn't even hold the Master Sword correctly. Zelda just giggled a bit to see how flustered Hyrule's own hero could be.

"I can't believe that happened!" Stated Link as he ran a hand through his golden locks.

"Oh... what happened?" Giggled Princess Zelda as she sat on a bench with a big overgrown hedge behind her. Link merely glares at her while Zelda just smiled at him with her usual look. On the other side however there sat Princess Peach with the hedge behind her and Marth pacing around nervously in front of her.

"Can you imagine how embarrassing that was!" Shouted Marth as he ran a hand through his azure locks.

"Oh really? I never thought a kiss as embarrassing giggle" Giggled Peach as she placed a hand upon her mouth.

Meanwhile as Link kept on ranting about how much he hated Marth, the Altean Prince, himself did so the same. As they continued to talk about how much they hated each other, the teenaged men soon heard from the other side of the hedge. Both walked over to the princesses and looked over to meet their azure eyes together.

"You!" Shouted both Link and Marth at each other while pointing a rude finger at one another.

Zelda and Peach smiled at each other to greet themselves. Soon they looked at their guys then let out a sigh of annoyance. If there was one thing that they understood was that men were difficult to deal with. Marth and Link glared at each other then continued with their pointing. Peach took notice of that and glared at them.

"It's rude to point!" Told the princess as if she was their mother.

"You! You idiot! You totally made a fool out of me! I will kill you for that!" Shouted Marth as he pointed an accusing finger at the Hylian and totally ignoring Peach.

"You! You are such a gay wad! It's your fault for what happened to me! I will so kill you!" Barked Link as he shook his finger at Marth.

"First off you look much like a gay wad yourself! I mean you are practically yaoi material!"

"At least I'm not the one that's paired up with Roy all the time on beep beep dot net!"

"To not to promote commercialism I have censored the name of the site which will remain anonymous." Spoke Censor Man before he took off into the air.

"What!" Shouted Roy as he ran from the kitchen and towards the garden. "I'm being paired up with Marth a lot? And people think I'm gay? No way! I'm so NOT gay!"

Roy's blue eyes flared up with such anger, but soon tears came down to his eyes. Without another word, the Pharaen swordsman ran from the scene crying like a little girl. Marth and Link stood there watching the red head's movements and were left astonished. Once Roy was out of sight, the other teens glared back at each other and started to accuse once again another.

"I'm so fed up with you and your cocky self!" Barked Link as he took out the Master Sword.

"Me too! I'm sick of you and you density!" Shouted Marth as he took out the Falchion.

"There is only one way to settle this!"

"You're right!"

"To the stadium!" Shouted both men as they rushed from the scene and towards the stadium to fight.

"What idiots…." spoke Peach and Zelda.

Both princesses shook their heads then went on their way to follow the two teens to make sure that they didn't do anything stupid. As they left, Jigglypuff jumped from the tree she was on and chased Censor Man around. Holding the marker in her hand, the puff ball rushed as much as she could trying to get the poor censor guy.

Jigglypuff walked around the Smash Bros. Stadium just cursing at her luck. _I'll never find Marth-kun at this rate and when I do something seems to happen, _thought Jigglypuff to herself. Feeling too degraded Jigglypuff just looked down not caring for anything in the world however at the moment she bumped into someone. Someone with Blue hair, blue armor and wearing a tiara like he was a sissy.

"Nice try authoress," Grumbled Marth.

Jigglypuff's eyes glowed with happiness as she saw her prince in shining armor. _There he is, there he is! _Thought the puff ball as she jumped up and down upon the ground. The jumping had caused the prince to turn around and look down at the pink puff ball. He smiled kindly to her like he usually did. That smile had caused Jiggly's heart to race a million miles an hour.

"Hey Jigglypuff how are you?" Asked Marth as he moved a bit of rogue hair from his face.

Jigglypuff felt she was in heaven as the divine prince smiled to her once more, a beautiful and glamorous smile._ So gorgeous, _thought the puff ball, _just very, very gorgeous. And this smile is reserved for me and not for those evil blondies: Zelda, Peach, Samus, OR Link._ Jigglypuff opened her mouth as she walked towards him not noticing a specific branch overhead. _This is it! This is my chance! I must tell him... I need to tell him!_

"Jigglypuff!" She answered with a smile. _WHAT THE-! Why am I saying my name! _She thought aloud to herself.

"Well deducing from the smile I am guessing Bowser and Ganondorf have yet to bother you," he replied not noticing Jigglypuff was getting nervous looking around for her headband.

_Damn it! Damn it! _Thought Jigglypuff as she searched frantically for her headband. As for Marth, the prince just stretched a bit then started to run fingers through his hair as to comb it to perfection. Suddenly overhead they both look up as a scratchy transmission begins and a voice calls out trough the megaphone.

"Marth your fight with Link starts in two minutes! Get your shiny ass over there... NOW!"

"Oh well I might as well get going, Jigglypuff." Spoke the prince as he didn't bother to look at her and just walked towards the arena. "Wish me luck and remember if Ganondorf and Bowser are giving you trouble the guys and I are there to help." He turned to smile at her as he ran off to fight Link over... cough, cough the embarrassing situation.

__

Ah geez it happened again! She thought as she looked at the branch that held her headband. She went straight to the branch and grabbed her headband and looked at it dejectedly._sigh I am cursed to never tell my true love how I feel?_ She thought as she held the green headband close to her heart with tears streaming down her face. _Must I now quit my conquest of revealing my true emotion to my love? _She thought as she places her headband around her forehead.

Meanwhile Marth and Link went over towards the Entering Room, in which was he room where the fighters would take the health pads to be transmitted to their fighting destinations. Both men glared at each other and didn't bother to even speak to one another as they walked nearly side-by-side. Once they had stepped on their appropriate pad, they were launched over to Hyrule Temple.

As to not bore the readers and to end this second chapter with everything planned, the authoresses have decided to skip the fighting part and go on to the next. All that can be said is that Link and Marth beat the crap out of each other using beam swords, bob-ombs, shells, and paper fans. It was a gruesome battle. And now back to Jigglypuff.

That announcer of the stadium was shocked by the results of Link and Marth's match. Both men had thrown a bob-omb at each other and exploded at the same time. Looking at the judges, they too, were as shocked as they were. Putting his hands up in the air, the announcer claimed the battle to be a tie. Once Link and Marth heard the result, both began to put up a hissy fit of what it was.

"Oh, there's Marth!" Spoke Jigglypuff as she waited under the tree.

The Altean prince grumbled as he walked furiously through the stadium and towards the courtyard. _That was complete bullsh…_censored, compliments of Censor ManThought the azure haired prince as he placed his Falchion back into it's sheathe. _I'm gonna so kill Link next time I fight him. And this time I will know when to dodge!_

Jigglypuff rushed towards the prince with all anticipation within her body. But as she ran towards Marth, her headband had attached itself to a loose branch that hung from the tree. Within a second, the branch snagged Jigglypuff's headband. Once the pink puff ball arrived to greet Marth, she let out a cute smile at the prince. _This is it! _Thought the puff ball as she felt her whole face fluster. _I'm so going to confess my feelings to my prince._

"Jigglypuff!" She cried out. Soon her emerald colored eyes opened wide. _What the fu…._censored_? Not again?_ Thought the puff ball as she started to panic.

"Jigglypuff, not now." Spoke Marth calmly. "I want to be alone so just leave!"

"Jiggly, jig!" (Wait a second!)

"Well if you don't want to leave, then I will."

"Jiggly, jiggly, puff!" (No! I said wait!)

"Roy and Peach, please come to the stadium, you're match is about to start….now!" Called the announcer. "So move your fat asses out…now!"

Finally Jigglypuff found her green headband and placed it on her head. When she turned around, she saw that Marth was finally gone. Giving out a pout, Jigglypuff walked the lonely road of broken dreams, which happens to be a good song. She heard someone cry out for help and rushed over towards where the girly scream came from. Peaking her head in, she saw Roy wearing a bunny hood, grabbing Peach and smacking her with his sword.

"Oh no! Ow!" Shouted Peach as she was hit with the hilt of Roy's blade.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Laughed the red head as he knew that this match was his now.

"I will save you!" Cried Jigglypuff as she flew through the air and towards the actual arena itself.

"Huh?"

Without hesitation, Jigglypuff let out a mega pound attack upon the poor red head. Roy spun and twisted his body in the air as he felt such power. But that assault was not over. The pink puff ball rushed over to the prince and unleash a full assault upon him, leaving Roy senseless. And since Censor man is around, the writers are forbidden to write the gory and bloody pieces out. All that they can say is that it was very, very not nice.

Poor Roy came out with really big boo-boos at the end of the fight that he had so to be sent to Doctor Mario's. Meanwhile, the judges had no clue as to give Peach the victory or Jigglypuff the victory. As Jigglypuff had let her fist do the talking, her headband flew off from her head and miraculous ended up at the feet of Bowser and Ganondorf, who didn't take notice of it at the moment.

"Man, we need a plan as to get that headband!" Called out Ganondorf as rubbed his chin with his fingers.

"Yeah….20 hours, 45 minutes, 45 seconds, and 18 nanoseconds…" Replied Bowser as he looked at his watch. Soon his beady eyes caught the figure of the green headband. "Um…Ganondorf….I think I…?"

"Don't bother me right now, Bowser! Can't you see that I'm trying to think of a plan that is so evil that evil itself is…pretty bad….and….you know the rest."

"Yeah, but Ganondorf…"

"I told you to shut up all ready! How many times do I have to tell you? I guess with thick skull of your's you can't really think, can you?"

"But Ganondorf, here's the headband!" Spoke quickly the turtle type creature as he rose the headband to his companion's nose.

"By the Goddesses, here it is! See, I told you I would be able to find it!"

"Um….yeah…."

"Well then, I guess now I shall put it on."

"Why do you have to put it on and not me?" Asked Bowser as he pouted a bit.

"Because Bowser, it isn't your color."

"Oh…okay."

Ganondorf placed it upon his head then waited for something to happen. When nothing did, he punched the wall. The wall then pretty much crumbled after he made impact with it. Smiling evilly to himself, the Gerudo King thought of many things to do with his new found power. Many of them were how to torture or kill and or both Link.

"I'm so going to let that brat have it when I find him! Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Cackled Ganondorf.

"Um…shouldn't we do something about Jigglypuff first?" Asked Bowser, who still remained clueless as it is.

"You're right! Let's then get that marshmallow then give her….the ultimate swirley!"

"Yay! The Ultimate Swirley! I won't be needing this anymore." Bowser spoke as he took his watch and threw it at the nearest window.

Jigglypuff smiled proudly at her greatest work down. Soon, however, her smiled turned into a frown as she remembered that she has not told Marth how much she loves him yet. As she kept walking and looking at the ground, she bumped into something she knew too well. Looking up she saw Ganondorf and Bowser grinning like fools at her.

"Jiggly!" Shouted Jigglypuff as she let out a karate chop, only to fail miserably and to soon noticed that her headband was not on her head at that moment.

"Missing something?" Asked Ganondorf as she showed her the headband.

"Let's nab her!" Shouted Bowser as he got her strangling body and headed towards the men's room.

"Oh, we've been waiting a long time for this moment! As for a special treat, we're giving you the Ultimate Swirley!"

Both villains hung Jigglypuff over the rather disgusting toilet of the men's room. As they were about to dunk her in, a miracle happen. Young Link, who was doing the pee-pee dance at that time, rushed into the men's room wanting to pee. He caught the figures of Bowser and Ganondorf holding Jigglypuff up high in front of the toilet.

Without another hesitation, Young Link rushed from the bathroom and towards his big self, who at the moment was still arguing with Marth in the courtyard. Roy had a bowl of popcorn and started to eat with with a rather happy smile on his face. Young Link rushed and started to tug upon the helm of his big self's tunic.

"Big Me!" Called out the smaller elf as he still held one hand upon his tunic as to hold his pee in. "There's trouble."

"Not now, Mini Me." Called out Link as he looked at his younger self. "I'm busy. And I told you several times before that you go to the bathroom to pee."

"No! It's not that! This time it's Jigglypuff."

"Jigglypuff needs to pee?"

"No! Jigglypuff is held….kidnapped by Turtle Turd and Big Nose! They're in the men's room!"

"We have to go!" Shouted Link as he pointed over with his sword towards the direction of the bathroom.

All three guys rushed towards the bathroom where they found Bowser and Ganondorf. Roy and Marth knocked Bowser against the wall and were about to lay a punch at Ganondorf, when the King of Evil used his strength to push them back against the wall. Link rushed in over and swung his sword, but with his power, Ganondorf swatted him like a fly.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Laughed the evil Ganondorf. "I have finally defeated the Swordsmen Squad. And now I shall reek my revenge on Link by squashing his neck or something like that! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

All the meanwhile, Mewtwo was in his private library reading a book about the human brain and such when the noise disrupted him from his concentration. Not one to have much patience, Mewtwo walked from his library and towards the men's room. Suddenly he used his psychic powers to take off the headband then destroyed it with a shadow ball.

"Now no one has ability to do shi…censored !"

Mewtwo destroyed Censor Man with his powers then floated back to his reading. Everyone just stood there in shock from what had happened. Then Roy, Marth, and Link kicked the crap out of Bowser and Ganondorf and saved Jigglypuff. The pink puff ball fainted from the shock of loosing her only way to say her feelings.

"And that is the end of that story." Spoke Mewlon as she closed the book she had on her lap. "Now get the fuck out of my house!"

__

Well that's the end of one part of the fic. May many more come.


End file.
